Some thoughts on guilt…

Some friends of ours painfully shared a story with my wife a few nights back.  She was kind enough to share it with me today.

Our friends belong to a community group at their church, and during one of the latest sessions a young mother “confessed” to having diffuculty in setting aside time for a quiet time since having her baby (still an infant).  To make the story short, the group ultimately chastises her for not having a quiet time regularly even with the baby.  One gentleman (single, without children) chimes in and asks, “How hard is it to put the kids in a playpen and have a quiet time for an hour?”  The conclusion of the discussion over the confession was: if you cannot have a quiet time because of the time you spend with your children, then you are ultimately choosing your kids over God.

Wow.

Here are a few of my thoughts regarding the discussion:

1) What a guilt-trip!  This poor young lady already feels incredibly guilty about not having a quiet time (why else would she have brought it up); why would anyone feel it important to heap more upon her?

2) This guy who is single and without children should not be critical at all toward this lady and her situation.  He lacks the experiential platform to speak into her life in such a way about this issue.  Shame on him.

3) Concluding thoughts: you love your children more than you love God because you won’t spend time with him?!?!  So many things to say.  First, each and every one of us (except for maybe those in monasteries) spend more time with any number of people and activities on a daily basis than we spend with God.  How dare anyone jump to that conclusion based on that logic!  Second, to think that a brand new mother – with all the stresses, confusion, and helplessness that comes with the job – should be expected to juggle her old routine with a necessarily new one is ridiculous.   Lastly, it is disappointing (yet understandable) that the “quiet time” is how they feel a relationship with God is summarized.  This takes me to…

My thoughts about the subject matter:

Something I began to learn shortly after marriage is that there exist numerous things in this world that serve as sacraments (something that brings us to the presence of God).  I found that I had a difficult time having a quiet time shortly after marriage myself.  I found myself most mornings helping her to prepare for the school day.   I started feeling guilty because of it: for heaven’s sake, I was a youth minister and had to have a daily quiet time, if only for example’s sake.  However,  Father quickly taught me that serving my wife in the morning was serving him; by serving him, he was imparting grace to me in the same way he might have through a quiet time.  Over that last three years, he has continued to bring to light other sacraments that bring me into his presence – music, laughter with friends and family, sharing meals together, art, movies, etc.  I have not had a traditional quiet time in years.

Furthermore, regarding guilt.  I am convinced – now more than ever – that guilt is not of Father.  It often times is a product of misteachings in our churches that are founded upon ideas of morality (i.e. “you cannot”  and “you should” statements) and Christian ethics/behaviors (i.e. a daily quiet time).  The children of God need to learn to live loved, not in fear.  I would imagine that this poor young mother already feels inadequate in her new role, but to add to the situation guilt for not having a quiet time (whether self-induced or via the group – both present here) causes her to live in fear of a loving Father who completely sympathizes with her in this situation.

It grieved me to learn of this offense.  I hope all involved gain new understanding of a life lived with God in love, not fear.

A new leaf…

As my wife and I are nearing the end of a season here in Dallas, I look forward to the future.  There will be new beginnings on new foundations that have been laid here in Dallas.  As mentioned previously, most of the deconstruction that I have gone through has been for the better.  I like who I am more than I did four years ago and that is a good thing.  However, now that I am seemingly at the end of this deconstruction period, I reflect on that which I miss the most about the previous me – devotion.

I cannot recall the last time I opened the Bible to read or study on my own accord.  I cannot recall the last time I spent in contemplative prayer or meditation.  I miss these things.  I do not miss the way I previously went about these disciplines, but what I miss is the desire to be engaged in them.  I think it to be a good thing that I am now reflecting on this.  In fact, I expect it to represent a signpost advertising the things to come.   I look forward to what will be built on the new foundation.

My hope is that father will turn over this new leaf and help me to continually understand himself and myself in ways that allow for edification.

Ode to the discussion group leader…

This morning I spent time with 3 friends and 1 dear mentor.  It marked the end of a season with a gentleman who so readily made himself available to those engrossed in the medical community.  He taught us what an appropriate world view looks like – in particular, how christian faith can and should be integrated into medicine (the practice of, the technology, the ethic, etc.).  He helped us think smartly, read critically, and dialogue without need of an argument to win. He is a man that I hope to emulate someday.  Not because of his intellect or his influence on others, but because when I am with him – listening and watching – he reminds me of Jesus, and that makes me want to know Jesus more.

I will miss him dearly, and I hope that sometime in the future our paths will merge again.

Transition…

I find myself this week in transition.  Friday marked my last day of work for Washington Mutual; Saturday marked the signing of a new lease for a new apartment (first time I’ve moved in three years – big change from college); and Monday the 19th marks my first day of employment with JP Morgan Chase.

It is amazing the places one’s mind can take him if he lets it during these times.  I suppose it is the wonder of the unknown.  Sure, I will be doing the same type of work with Chase as I did with WaMu, but it is still “new” and you have to wonder when and where the next step will be.  Sure, it is just another apartment and it won’t be permanent, but one wonders when it will be.

I think transition is a good time in life.  It causes one to ponder, reflect and evaluate.

I’m excited.

How is it that you turn back again…

As I was reading this morning, I ran across this passage in Galatians 4

⁹But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how is it that you turn back again to the weak and worthless elemental things, to which you desire to be enslaved all over again? ¹⁰You observe days and months and seasons and years. ¹¹I fear for you…

Leading up to this place in the letter, Paul had addressed the Galatians on matters of the Law. Particularly, he had made mention of how it is no longer to be lived by nor given heed to. They (and the rest of the ecclesia) is to live by faith through Christ. He gives an imperative stating “not to rebuild that which [you] have once destroyed” (namely: law).

It seems to me that Paul’s great concern (not only addressed in the epistle to the Galatians) is regarding Faith juxtaposed with Law. Continually he urges not to follow (or live by) the Law, but to live by faith. In my pondering of law and what it is, I have come to the conclusion that not only was law understood as those rules listed on a couple stone tablets and parchment, but also the rituals and rites under which so many of the Jews (and Gentiles I will argue) were enslaved. Galatians 4:10 gives evidence here. They were observing days, months, seasons, and years.

I was thinking as I was reading: we are still involved in the same trappings as the Galatians (and others) were1900 years ago. We still observe holy days and seasons (i.e. Lent, Easter, and Christmas). In some ways I wonder, have we not created these as another law unto ourselves as others were to the Galatians? Are these days and seasons necessary for faith? Or have they become a part of a religious system that has only created new obligations for us to be aware of?

And that is why you fail…

I have been working through the Star Wars trilogies the past few weeks. I have one left to watch – Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi. I never got into the older movies when I was a child. But, when the newer ones came out, I became fascinated with the storyline. So, now I own them all and I am enjoying watching them in chronological order; putting the pieces of the puzzle together. However, this is not the point of the post.

Last night I was watching Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. This is the one where Luke Skywalker travels to the Degoba (sp?) System to find the Jedi master, Yoda. After quite a comical and “impatient” introduction, Luke begins his Jedi training with master Yoda. They are engaged in several exercises to get Luke fit – physically and mentally – for his training in the Force.

One of the neatest scenes is when Luke is doing a one-handed hand stand with Yoda sitting on his left foot (in mid air mind you) and Luke is lifting various objects by the power of the Force. He gets distracted by his transport sinking into the swamp. Everything falls and Luke is frustrated that he will never be able to leave now. Yoda reminds him that he could use the force. Luke says, “I will try.” Yoda responds (and this is a famous line), “Do or Do Not, there is no try.” Luke begins lifting the aircraft from the bottom of the swamp with his mind focused upon the Force. He makes a little headway and then gives up stating, “It is just too big.”

Yoda, trying to encourage him begins talking of the Force and its availability to those who can wield its power. He states that is all around them, in the trees, the rocks, between Luke and the swamp. All living things make it grow and exist. It is a reality in which he and Luke can take part. Luke responds, “You speak of the impossible.”

Luke walks off sulkily; in the mean time, Yoda picks up the aircraft and moves it to dry land. Luke hurries back and says, “I don’t believe it!” Yoda says, “And that is why you fail.”

I couldn’t help but thinking about faith when watching that scene. The presence of Christ is all around us. The very kingdom of God has been brought to the earth through the incarnation and remains through the presence of the Spirit by indwelling humans. In that way, you and I (if belief in Christ we have – as Yoda might say it) bring the kingdom of God to others because of its very presence within us and our ability to know it and use it as a resource. Not a resource to move rocks and such, but certainly to make love, joy and faith known in the earth.

Unfortunately, we can often be like Luke and have a disbelief in the power (or kingdom) that has been given to us as a gift. We disbelieve that God can actually put his very life in us and effect change in the world (Galatians 2:20, Colossians 1:27, 3). It is a glorious truth, but often we disbelieve it. And that is why we fail…

Stop “should-ing” on yourself…

For awhile now I have contemplated this question: Do we associate Christianity with Morality? That is, does moral living constitute Christian behavior, or vice versa, does Christian living denote moral behavior?

I think most people would answer this question affirmatively. Yes, if a person is a Christian, that person will behave morally.

However, I think, too often, people associate the two thoughts as synonymous in idea. Morality is Christian; Christian is morality. I get this feeling because I hear and read frequently of people talking about the “Shoulds” and “Should nots” of Christianity. Too many times, we qualify our Christian spirituality on the basis of what we are and are not doing. This is dangerous!

Christianity is not about morality. It is about a person and his life at work within us to reconcile a fallen world to its glorious Creator. That is it – nothing more, nothing less.

Stop emphasizing good behavior; begin exalting a risen savior.